:: CAPTAIN JOHN :: -- "Music, Thoughts & Poetry"

I LOVE YOU

2007-07-25T22:31:00.000-07:00

I LOVE YOU LABZ CHED....

(es usted que amo tan mucho. que es usted a que el goin de i al amor hasta el día yo muere. te quiero..)

Narito ka para aking mahalin ng habangbuhay
Walang wagas na pag-ibig ang sayo’y aking alay
Nang ika’y dumating buhay ko’y nagkaroon ng kulay
Ikaw ang nagbigay buhay sa pusong puno ng lumbay.

Walang paglagyan kaligayahang naramdaman
Di inaasahang pag-ibig mo’y aking makakamtan
Ang akala ko’y ika’y hanggang panaginip na lamang
Isa lamang sa mga pangarap na walang katuparan.

Damdami’y mas umaalab sa bawat araw na magdaan
Sa bawat saglit ikaw ang laman ng aking isipan
Hindi nais pang magwakas ligayang nararanasan
Sumusumpang iibigin kita magpakailanman.

At kung ikaw ma’y mapagod sa ating pagmamahalan
Sa iyo ay hindi magagalit kahit na masaktan
Ika’y aking hindi lilimutin magpakailanman
Tanging babaing mamahalin hanggang kamatayan.

==JMS==

.. and it all says here.... (10.15.07)

illusion turns to reality

2007-05-30T21:03:00.000-07:00

hope it isn't the end... i waited you for soo long... but if you'll gonna have a change of heart and mind.. can't do anything but to accept... i know another stupid post... allow me to do this again today...

cómo deseo usted también considerará lo que me siento que la derecha. no es ahora egoísta con su dolor... estoy lastimando también ... te amo tanto

2007-04-04T11:38:00.000-07:00

i never thought that this things will happens... but nwy.. tnx for the doubts... tnx 2 all.. i'll make this final.. there's really no reason 2 stay... but im thankful that i was bumped in this world once.. coz i really learned a lot and this world maked me happy for a while.... goodbye UNREAL world...
not gonna delete this site.. coz i know that a lot visits here for the music and not for anything... and just wanna say that all that written here was "TRUE"...

CAPTAIN Returns...

2006-12-10T13:10:00.000-08:00

... it's been so long since my last visit here... i sooo can't remember when was the last time... and i was surprised coz it seems that my blogspot is now gettin' kinda popular... i noticed that somebody's claiming my blog... does it mean that my blog was pretty well done for somebody to claim it? i guess so... (*yabang*) ...don't worry im not mad nor pissed at all... and can i ask? just curious what CENTAURI means? is it also CENTAUR w/c means half man and half horse? ...i just wanna let u know guys that i'm not any related to "PETRANG KABAYO" (heck!)

...and since it took me so long before i got the chance to post again here... i'll try not to be mean... but sorry if i still gonna remove those shit tags on my board... and yeah, i beg... pls do not post any mean stuff... and don't use the board for any petty fights... it isn't a fighting arena...

...and for those who had sent me and still kept on sending me an email, if ever there was/is (friends... real or not, mates, and those who's asking stuffs)... im sorry if i couldn't/haven't holla back.. it doesn't mean that i'm refraining on ur mails... it's just im now having a hard time getting online... just like now... it takes me like forever typing this post...

... and to all my friends... i really miss u all guys especially those who really touched my heart/life... (u know guys whoever you are)... u may hardly see me online or might not anymore... but i just wanna tell u guys that i really treasures all what we had before (sounds like a heavy drama and im so damn serious)... and yeah to you my friend who gave me a rosary and a crusifix bracelet.. thank you...

... and yeah i just remembered... a friend of mine who's really and will always be special to me was looking for a certain song... "I'D RATHER" by a female version... if ever u stumble again on my blog... i just wanna let you know that i already had that song and i already put it on my playlist... just for you... (** i had a lot of fun and i knew that im not fakin' **)

...again for those who's asking stuffs like music/url... i already posted it how... at the right side of this blog.. the MY HTML TUTORIAL... but aight, for the majority's satisfaction.. here's how: "try 2 download ur target song or copy it frm a CD then save it on ur computer... then make an account in yahoo geocities or any web hosting sites to host your music files... then upload ur music files on the said web hosting site.. you can now use ur uploaded music files on ur web pages like friendster, myspace etc... and yeah.. it's better to upload your own instead of using mine coz geocities and other web hosting site has a bandwidth limitation... and if u exceed on the given bandwidth, u have to w8 again for the bandwith 2 refresh and it may takes one day before u can access again the file... that's the reason why sometimes some music on my playlist didn't play" (easy aight?!)

... so i guess that's all... thanks for reading! (ADIOS)

Tula ng Isang Kwento ng Pag-ibig

2006-09-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

maybe my passion in music especially slow music (sad songs) is one of the reason why i am inspired to write a poem... (sigh) yeah i'm a frustrated composer (i wish i can put melodies on one of my composition someday)... most of my written composition composed of a sad topics... and yeah just like other poetries and songs do, there was a story behind of all those poetries...

writing a poem is one of my outlet to release emotional stress... sad poems and stories of emotional pain bring each of us a strange kind of pleasure aight?! c'mon admit it, you are one of me... i am not ashamed neither proud to let people know that i am one of the EMO typed of guy, i mean it's just ok... im just being myself... a burden born by one can often grow too heavy to bear and sharing our pain is the only way we can live with the pain...

this is my second tagalog composition and i found my title a little corny (i can't think of a good one)... actually i wrote it first but it took me so long before i've got the chance to finish it... maybe because it is really hard to wrote a tagalog one (yeah it is)... pardon to all the readers if there are some mistakes in this poem, i mean the words i used in this poem... i dunno if i got the right choiced of words... it always sounds "sablay" to me... (parang it doesn't sounds good) i already gave my best shot in this one...

Mayroon akong sa iyo'y sasabihin
Sana'y 'wag magbago ang iyong pagtingin.
Ang aking sasambitin sana ay dinggin
'Wag magagalit sa aking bibigkasin.

'Di mo ba batid aking nararamdaman?
Araw at gabi laman ka ng isipan.
'Di maipaliwanag aking kasiyahan
Sa t'wing naririnig ang iyong pangalan.

'Di ko na kayang itago't pigilan pa
Sa iyo ngayon ay aaminin ko na
Aaminin ko nang minamahal kita
Sasabihin ko nang sayo'y may pagsinta.

Ngunit anong sakit aking naramdaman
Pagpatak ng luha'y 'di ko napigilan
Ng 'yong sabihing damdami'y kalimutan
Ako sayo'y isa lamang kaibigan.

Halos na gumuho ang aking daigdig
Sa sinapit ng aking abang pag-ibig
Aking pagtutol 'di na naisang-tinig
Aking batid may iba kang iniibig.

Ang panahon ay mabilis na nagdaan
Paglimot ay pilit na pinag-aralan
Pilit na binura ang nararamdaman
Pinilit maging mabuting kaibigan.

Ngunit kay hirap na puso'y kalabanin
Tunay na damdamin di kayang dayain
Kahit ano pa ang gawing panalangin
Ikaw pa rin ang sigaw nitong damdamin.

Sana ikaw ay sa akin ay 'wag magalit
Kung ako sa iyo ay masyadong makulit
Ang ibigin ka ay 'wag sanang ipagkait
'Wag mangamba 'di maghahanap ng kapalit.

Hindi ko man maabot ang iyong langit
Tadhana man sa aki'y naging malupit
Masaktan man ako ng paulit-ulit
Kailan man sayo'y hindi magagalit.

Kung ako ma'y gapiin nitong karamdaman
At tuluyang ihatid sa aking himlayan
Sa kabilang buhay ikaw ay babantayan
Ipapanalangin iyong kaligayahan.

===JMS===

.... i am hoping na walang magagalit sa ginawa ko na poem... 'coz i have no any intentions to hurt anyone... please... spare me this one...

Messenger

2006-08-30T15:08:00.000-07:00

(sigh) another day again... another boring, sad and soso quiet day for me... and tomorrow... wut's next? uhhmm yeah.. i have my therapy tomorrow... f*ck! that therapy makes me weak... im tired of those laser beams touching my skin... (do i sounds a little dramatic huh? awe! wut's new?!)

i have nothing to do that's why i am here posting again after a long time... not a poem this time... i just wanna share this web based messenger allowing users to access MSN, AOL and Yahoo's Messenger without having to install any program... this is for my fellas who are using computer at the school and library where messengers are prohibited.... just visit www.captainjohn-messenger.blogspot.com ...hope that this site somehow help...

for those whose asking on how to embed music on their site especially friendster.. pls visit the "MY HTML TUTORIAL" found at the right side of this site...

ADIOS!

Untitled 1

2006-04-03T11:26:00.000-07:00

I try to smile to hide the tears
I have to laugh to cover the fears
To show the world that I am strong
Make them believe that there's nothing wrong.

But in the corner of my eyes
I can't see nothing but darkness
From the depth of my heart
I can't feel nothing but emptiness.

I'm goin' crazy, I'm losing my sanity
Why don't heaven give me a little mercy
What I only want is to be happy
Live with full of love, live without worries.

My soul was weary living in pain
I'm already sick, waiting in vain
The little hope I'm holding now is fading
Tired of the battle I am fighting.

---JMS---

Lately

2006-02-04T09:05:00.000-08:00

Lately, I have had the strangest feeling
With no vivid reason here to find
Yet the thought of losing you's been hanging
'round my mind.

Lately I've been staring in the mirror
Very slowly picking me apart
Trying to tell myself I have no reason
with your heart.

Well, I'm a man of many wishes
I hope my premonition misses
But what I really feel my eyes won't let me hide
‘Cause they always start to cry
‘Cause this time could mean goodbye...

Un individuo en el espejo (Reflection)

2006-01-15T08:36:00.000-08:00

A familiar face was staring straight back at me. It's been a long time since the last time I saw him crying. And now in front of me, I clearly see his tears kept falling in his eyes… streaming down his cheeks. In silence, I heard him uttered his pains, kept on asking why he got the worst luck in the world. He pauses for a while then finally wipes his tears and shrugs his head and slowly walks away… God… why I also felt all of his pain and burden… tears also fell in my eyes… till I finally realize that I am standing in front of the mirror… staring at my own reflection…

Here in the dark, tears kept falling from my eye
How I wish, all that I heard was just a lie
And coz of the pain, here I am almost die
I have made up my mind, I have to say goodbye.

all questions were answered... you'll never see me... coz your eyes are only for him... you'll never smile for me... coz your smile doesn't belong to me... you could never love me... coz your love only belongs to him... so now I know... we could never ever be...

Goodbye...

2005-12-01T08:17:00.000-08:00

The vision is not clear
Voices cannot be hear
Can’t help for the growing fear
It seems that the end is near.

No matter how hard I tried
Tears cannot be hide
For so long that I cried
Sadness cannot be denied.

My life is out of tune
I’m having a less fortune
All I have to do is to wait
What’s written on my fate.

For those who love me true
I wanna say thank you.
For those who makes me feel blue
You know that I love you true.

Some good things never last
The time is running so fast.
There’s one thing that I want you to remember
That all of you live in my heart forever.

--JMS--

Just a thought....

2005-11-23T13:54:00.000-08:00

me siento que perdido... me siento abajo de... alli soy muchos de la pregunta dentro de mi mente... que repentinamente entristecia... entonces este poema vine repentinamente en mi mente...

A lot of pain, a lot of hurt
Things that can break you apart.
Sometimes it can make you cry
And can't help you from asking why.

In a world that's so unsure
Nobody is secure
In a life that's so cruel
Tell me how can you stay cool.

How can you embrace without fears?
When can you sleep without tears?
Some questions playing on your mind
Where answers are really hard to find.

But in a world of real fantasy
Confusion has no place to see.
A wondrous world where I like to be
A place where heart and mind are free.

I wanna close my eyes and feel the eternity
I want dreams to be my reality.
I don't care if they'll call me a dreamer
Coz' I know that there, I can hold you forever.

---JMS--

You Are The Reason

2005-11-17T14:53:00.000-08:00

Pleaseeeeeeeeee... somebody help me to find this song... i badly miss to hear it again... send me a msg. kung cno man may mp3 nito... nanawagan na po.. maawa na... lol! hahaha! or if u want trade tayo... igagawa ko kau ng music code for ur website... man! i'm totally desperate!

How can I forget
The longings of my heart
It's you I think of night and day
I know I couldn't touch you
I know I couldn't hold you
Though I wish I really could just care for you

You are the reason the seasons of my life
You're everything I wish and live for
Give me an answer show me the way
You're breakin' me leaving me in pain

You're the burning flame
In my heart and in my mind
In the silence of the night I can hear you
My thoughts are all about you
Alive and true to me
But now I really have you only in my dreams

You are the reason the seasons of my life
You're everything I wish and live for
Give me an answer show me the way
You're breakin' me leaving me in pain

Lovin' you changes everything
It's given me strength and it's all because of you

You're the burning flame
In my heart and in my mind
In the silence of the night I can hear you
My thoughts are all about you
Alive and true to me
But now I really have you only in my dreams

You are the reason the seasons of my life
You're everything I wish and live for
Give me an answer show me the way
You're breakin' me leaving me in pain..

TRULY, MADLY, CRAZILY IN LOVE W/ YOU

2005-10-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

poem.. poem... another poem... another trying hard one... ahahaha.. lol..

I'll never forget the day we met
I knew I'm in love, my heart was set.
I don't know what so special about you
That made me fall in love with you.

I must admit, that I simply give in
You've got me goin' crazy, I just cannot win
I just can't lose your face out of my mind
Your sweet and cute smile, you're one of a kind.

But then my heart can't help from aching and breakin'
When you said that your heart, someone is holdin'
Suddenly my eyes are starting to get wet
The things that you said, it is hard to accept.

I kept my self on asking why
Why my love I have for you cannot be die.
I knew this heart of mine, not telling me a lie
I'm truly in love with you, that's what I can't deny.

But what can I do, if this is what I feel for you
Can you blame me, if I'm madly in love with you
I will be here waiting, you know my love is true
Longing for you to say, the words "I LOVE YOU TOO!"

===JMS===

Click the link below:
TRULY, MADLY, CRAZILY IN LOVE W/ U

Untitled

2005-10-19T15:08:00.000-07:00

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you mean. If you love someone, tell them. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today.

My First Ever Tagalog Poem

2005-10-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

i wrote this poem a week ago, a week before my treatment ... i just wrote what i feel that time... this is the first tagalog poem that i did... for me it's sounds like sablay, ang pangit ng rhyming sa end...

Sa Isang madilim na sulok aking tinatanaw
Ang tahimik at dahan-dahang paglubog ng araw
Na sa aking unti-unting nanlalabong paningin
Isang mapanglaw at nakalulungkot na tanawin.

At sa unti-unting pagpula ng kalangitan
Sa aking isip hatid ay maraming katanungan
Mga katanungan na naghahanap ng kasagutan
Maiiwan na lang ba na isang palaisipan?

At kasabay nga nito ay aking binabalikan
Ang mga nakalipas at ang mga araw na nagdaan
Mga araw na minsan ay nagdala ng kasiyahan
Ngunit sa kadalasan ang dulot ay kalungkutan.

At ang kalangitan nga ay tuluyan ng nagdilim
Ang aking mga pangamba'y 'di mapigilang lumalim
Sana ay dinggin aking taimtim na panalangin
Muling pagsikat ng araw akin sanang abutin.

===J.M.S.===

Click the link below:
MY FIRST EVER TAGALOG POEM

Stay

2005-09-27T14:02:00.000-07:00

I believe
We shouldn't let the moment pass us by
Life’s too short
We shouldn't wait for the water to run dry

Think about it
Cause we only have one shot at destiny
All I'm asking
Could it possibly be you and me?

So if you’d still go, I’ll understand
Would you give me something just to hold on to?
And if you’ll stay, I'll hold your hand
Cause I'm truly, madly, crazily in love with you

..... that is my favorite part of the song... Im currently listening that song... I miss to play guitar na tuloy... since walang mgawa.. nagpost n din khit walang kwenta...

Life Is Never Easy

2005-09-22T11:19:00.000-07:00

Ako ay naligaw sa kung saan... at nabasa ulit ang poem na ito... someone gave me this poem as an answer in one of my posted poem... i forgot to thank her.. that's why.. post ko n lng dito...

========================================================
clever_lyn •reply Dec-17-04@10:17PM
pwede b bigyan dn kta ng poem!!!!it is entitled "life is never easy"here it goes:

Life is never easy,
But sometimes we choose not to see
Caught up in our reason,
Denying that true feeling are meant to be free

And we say things we don't mean,
We do things we don't even know what it mean
Trying hard not to care,
But sometimes needing to share

Why are you afraid to lend a hand?
For all you know, there's no reason to be afraid.
Fear of the unknown is a disease that often kills
So,don't let anything prevent you from your will..

why can't u take ur risk...if u luv her fight 4 her... it is ONLY a BF not her HUBBY...so there's a chance.

In A Rush (Spanish Version)

2005-09-12T10:47:00.000-07:00

I tried to translate this song in Spanish... (wala lang..). I'm not that good in spanish... (feeling lang...trying hard nga eh..) I knew this song from long time ago but never heard it for a long time...then heard it again coz of my dear dear friend...

Una muchacha que ame ... y si yo todavia ama su .. pero no puede ser dos de nosotros ... ella solo me ama cuando un amigo ... ese dia seria uno del dia memorable de mi vida ... exactamente el 14 de febrero de 2005 dia de tarjetas del dia de San Valentin, el dia antes de mi operacion ... hablamos durante casi 8 horas despues de mucho tiempo de ninguna comunicacion... DUH!!! No puedo explicar la felicidad que senti aquel tiempo...

Se que un dia ... usted leera este poste pero no se si usted lo entendera ... pero solo quiero que usted sepa que le amo ... aunque haya alguien nuevo en mi vida ...el amor que yo tenia para usted todavia permanece

Usted es el principio y el final ... el presente y el futuro ... usted es mi para siempre esperanza... Le amo todavia .. mi amor por usted permanecera hasta el final ... ahora y para siempre...

Esto vino sobre mi a una prisa
Cuando realice que le amo tanto
Esto a veces que grito, pero me inclino le dicen por que
Por que siento lo que siento dentro

Como trato de expresar lo que ha sido el malabarismo en mi mente
Pero todavia no puede encontrar las palabras
Pero se que algo me ha cogido

Esto vino sobre mi a una prisa
Cuando realice que le amo tanto
Esto a veces que grito, pero me inclino le dicen por que
Por que siento lo que siento dentro

Bebe, algun dia encontrare un modo de decir
solo lo que usted me quiere decir
Pero si ese dia nunca viene
y usted no oye esta cancion
Adivino que usted nunca sabra esto...

Esto vino sobre mi a una prisa
Cuando realice que le amo tanto
Esto a veces que grito, pero me inclino le dicen por que
Por que siento lo que siento dentro

Y cuando digo dentro, quiero decir profundamente
Usted llena mi alma de algo que no puedo explicar
Lo que es sobre mi

Esto vino sobre mi a una prisa
Cuando realice que le amo tanto
Esto a veces que grito, pero me inclino le dicen por que
Por que siento lo que siento dentro

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

2005-08-23T14:25:00.000-07:00

Imagine that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. One day long ago the Martians, looking through their telescopes, discovered the Venusians. Just glimpsing the Venusians awakened feelings they had never known. They fell in love and quickly invented space travel and flew to Venus.

The Venusians welcomed the Martians with open arms. They had intuitively known that this day would come. Their hearts opened wide to a love they had never felt before.

The love between the Venusians and Martians was magical. They delighted in being together, doing things together, and sharing together. Though from different worlds, they reveled in their differences. They spent months learning about each other, exploring and appreciating their different needs, preferences, and behavior patterns. For years they lived together in love and harmony.

Then they decided to fly to Earth. In the beginning everything was wonderful and beautiful. But the effects of Earth's atmosphere took hold, and one morning everyone woke up with a peculiar kind of amnesia-selective amnesia!

Both the Martians and Venusians forgot that they were from different planets and were supposed to be different. In one morning everything they had learned about their differences was erased from their memory. And since that day men and women have been in conflict.

Without the awareness that we are supposed to be different, men and women are at odds with each other. We usually become angry or frustrated with the opposite sex because we have forgotten this important truth. We expect the opposite sex to be more like ourselves. We desire them to "want what we want" and "feel the way we feel."

We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways--the ways we react and behave when we love someone. This attitude sets us up to be disappointed again and again and prevents us from taking the necessary time to communicate lovingly about our differences. We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways--the ways we react and behave when we love someone.

Men mistakenly expect women to think, communicate, and react the way men do; women mistakenly expect men to feel, communicate, and respond the way women do. We have forgotten that men and women are supposed to be different. As a result our relationships are filled with unnecessary friction and conflict.

Clearly recognizing and respecting these differences dramatically reduce confusion when dealing with the opposite sex. When you remember that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, everything can be explained.

.... men mistakenly offer solutions and invalidate feelings while women offer unsolicited advice and direction. Through understanding our Martian/Venusian background it becomes obvious why men and women unknowingly make these mistakes. By remembering these differences we can correct our mistakes and immediately respond to each other in more productive ways.

....while Martians tend to pull away and silently think about what's bothering them, Venusians feel an instinctive need to talk about what's bothering them.

... men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished ....men need to overcome their resistance to giving love while women must overcome their resistance to receiving it.

... men and women have different needs for intimacy. A man gets close but then inevitably needs to pull away.

... men and women give the kind of love they need and not what the opposite sex needs. Men primarily need a kind of love that is trusting, accepting, and appreciative. Women primarily need a kind of love that is caring, understanding, and respectful.

===John Gray===

Love Again... (Just a post)

2005-08-11T12:25:00.000-07:00

Love again?!?! grrrrrr... my fave topic to post huh! obviously.. all of my posted topics here are all about love and hurts... awe! john... john... john... "KULITS MO" ...pero por extraño que pueda parecer el ... toda la situación mencionada en casi de mis postes pasó y todavía pasándome... (spanish ko para di nyo maintindihan... ahahaha!) PEACE...

If you're afraid to love a person because of friendship, you have 2 choices, either tells what you feel and let the love take place of forever or hide the feeling under a friendship full of pretensions.

Sometimes I've asked myself, what would make me happy? To think that I have everything else, get what I want... then I realized it was you, too bad coz' it's you I can't have... Love can never be so beautiful without friendship...

Have you really cared for someone more than you expected? Have you ever tried to love him/her despite of all the pain? Will you keep on loving him/her when he/she whispers someone else's name? When you love, you must not accept anything in return, for if you do, you're not loving but investing. If you love, you must prepare to accept pain. For if you expect happiness, you are not loving but using...

How can I say goodbye to someone I never had? Why do tears fall for someone who was never mine? Why is that I miss someone I was never with and I ask why I love someone who's love was never mine?

It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose someone you love with your useless pride. I can't choose who I'm gonna love, but I also can't just love who chooses to love me.... and you can't blame me in choosing to love you as much as I can't blame you for not learning to love me.

Love may leave your heart like a shattered glass, but keep in mind that there's someone who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces so you could be whole again... like a jigsaw puzzle ... it requires time, endurance and patient to fixed the whole picture...

Mystery of Love

2005-08-02T10:23:00.000-07:00

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and some love fails. You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but will never do anymore than take the life out of the experience.

Love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its time, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Too often, when love comes to two people, they try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift freely given and a gift that just as freely moves away. When they fall out of love or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was.

They want the answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong with them, or they try to get their love to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love will bloom again. They blame their circumstances. They blame each other. They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in the sea of misery.

You need to treat what love brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in that person's heart. If you find someone in love with you towards whom you feel no love, feel honored that love came and called at your door. But gently refuse the gift that you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with you. And all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives are very different.

If you fall in love with another who falls in love with you and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it in time, but time itself will choose the moment.

Remember this and keep this in your heart. You don't choose love, love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it in all its mysteries when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it to you. Give it to others who seem poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.

Love has its own time, own season and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe or coerce to or reason it into staying. If it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your love, there is nothing you should do. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. If you keep your heart open, it will surely come again.

I'll Be Over You...

2005-07-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

Some people live their dreams
Some people close their eyes
Some people’s destiny
Passes by...

I refuse to wait for you any longer. There was a time in my life when I would have saved myself for you alone. In my heart no one else would do. I belonged to no one else but you. That isn't me anymore. My heart finally caught up with my brain and I finally saw that all of it was just nothing but fantasies. Dreams that only I wanted. There was no hope left for us. As each day passed, it became clearer to me that it was never meant to be. We were never meant to be.

I refuse to fight anymore. For several months now, I've been fighting. I've been fighting for our friendship and for us. However, no matter what I do, I seem to be losing. Whenever I feel as if I'm going to buckle down because of the pressure, the thought that somehow maybe you are fighting for us too kept me going. But months have passed, I haven't heard from you. Somehow I finally realized that I was the only one fighting for us. I was doing everything I could possibly can for someone who was and never will be mine.

I refuse to believe that you didn't love me. Somehow, someway, I know that I have a place in your heart. You may not have been able to love me the way I wanted you to love me but I know that even for just a second, you really did love me.

I refuse to lose hope. It may not be you. It maybe someone else. Tears have been streaming down my cheeks for too long but not anymore. I have learned so many things from all this. Things that I felt should have been taught to me some other less painful way but somehow I don't regret it. It made me stronger. It made me look inside myself and really see who I really am and not who I thought I was. Hope kept me going. The hope for better things to come, the same hope that one day I will finally be over you... I will finally get over you...

It takes some time
God knows how long
I know that I can forget you

As soon as my heart stops breakin’
Anticipating
As soon as forever is through
I’ll be over you...

Mystery and Discovery

2005-07-17T11:41:00.000-07:00

it's very weird how people fall in love... at first they are not fully aware that they are falling in love with each other... and eventhough they know what they are feeling with each other they just keep on dreaming and ignoring the fact that they do start to fall in love with someone... but the painful part is that they can't be together... yeah... i know it's pretty sad...

you know that you love this someone and that she/he feel the same thing... but they can't be together... because of so many complications and the so called "platonic friendship" will be compromise... i just had this weird thing... i fell in love with someone who's the total oppositeness of my ideal someone... but though she is... i feel that if im not with this person... i know in my heart something is missing... "parang siyang bagoong sa kare kare kong buhay"... sad as it may seem... we just can't be together... coz we're both committed... she's already engaged and i'm in a relationship... if this is one of fate's cruel game... i hope that someday... we'll be together... if not in this lifetime perhaps in the next one. i just realize that love is the greatest mystery in life but the greatest discovery is how much you can love that person...

ooopppsss... i just read this and posted it here (wala lang)... dont know if i copied it correctly... i think na rephrase ko na... well.. i agreed w/ that coz it happened to me... or should i say.. it's happening to me?!?!... (hahaha!)... hmmmn... peace... wala na akong masabi... until next time...

A Letter From Her (my Bhie)...

2004-12-13T13:55:00.000-08:00

October 5,2004
(12:45am)

Bhie,

It’s already past midnight and I’m still sitting here on my bed unmindful of the stinging bites these ugly mosquitoes are giving me. I’m here silently turning feelings into words, that retrospecting those precious moments we had since the day we had met in the chat until now that we had shared. As I am looking back those memories, a smile touches my lips and strangely enough tears roll down my face. Looking back through all those months made realize that life did give me the best start ever. I’m very lucky because I have you in my life whom I can be proud of. I have learned so much with you. You have showed me the deepest and truest meaning of love. You have given me the most thing of yours, the cherished memories were those times we spent together even though we are far from each other.

I must admit that we were not born perfect. We do have our ups and downs. We have been through joys and pains. We have those crying moments. But for me, I consider that shortenings worth remembering even though it hurts.

Your love is something that I did never outgrow; time and resistance I guess right then and there have not seized our close relationship. I knew that we were really off to a good start.

You know, our memories are the ones I’ll always treasure and I do hope that this letter will let you know how I appreciate what you have done for me. I can say that having you in my life is the precious thing that God has bestowed me .I know I have said it but this time I’ll have to say it again. I love you so much. And though many things in me have changed but my admiration for you remains the same and continuously keeps on growing.

Thanks for everything, if ever there were more other like you then there will surely be more grateful one like me. Happy 7th Month Anniversary Bhie!!!!!!!!!…..

---zha---

POETRY 4

2004-12-13T13:08:00.000-08:00

I wrote this poem for someone who once knocked and rocked my heart... sounds crazy... but it's true... you'll always be a part of me and i'll never forget you... this is for you... if ever you read this.. hope you'll remember me...

I know I can't have you
But I keep on counting on
I know it's such a waste of time
But in my dreams, I'm holding on.

When will you see me?
When will you smile for me?
Could you love me?
Or could we ever be...

---JMS---

click the link below:
CRAZY INLOVE

POETRY 3

2004-12-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

This poem was written by a special friend of mine and gave it to me... hope you'll found your real happiness with him...

No matter how things are accepted
Reality can't be change nor denied
Heart can't be thought to forget
Though nothing can do with regret.

My heart cries out loud
Restless in loneliness can't bound
Used to close my eyes but see
Only the darkness I have in me.

To the one I love the most
Being not with you I'm lost
Wish I could have you forever
And make me smile as ever.

Yet things seem to be unfair
Why not be happy coz love still bear?
It may not be for us to share
My heart won't lasts for you to care.

I ask Heaven how live life going
With the love the heart is keeping
Everything's my fault to shoulder
Always bring myself to nowhere.

Here in silence, I beg Heaven
Life after today i'll see my darlin'
Cuddle in tender, endear forever
With sweetest caress and grieve me never.

Hope my dreams will carry me
High above as it should be
Angels then flee, felt not best
Deep within.....nothing compares.

Wherever fate will bring us two
Either sunny nor can be blue
Till my last breath I will love YOU
I don't know why.....I just do!

---My Angel---

click the link below:
POETRY 3

POETRY 1

2004-12-13T11:44:00.000-08:00

I wrote this poem for a person who onced had a special place in my heart... im reffering to a person who also wrote a poem for me... a girl in POETRY 2...

I hope that someday we can be together
Not only for a moment but forever
I guess hoping will be alright
A sign in heaven, He's showing me the light.

But as soon as the sun begun to set
And the night is starting to get wet
I need to put my hopes down and low
Because my tears and fears are starting to flow.

Tonight where no one else can see
My true feeling deep within me
Hugging my pillow tight to comfort me
In the darkness where we can be free.

Free to hope, to dream and to love you
Free from everything as an angel above
Through this night, Dear God I'm asking You
Please take away this feeling that I have.

Because everytime you're with him and see you smile
I try to convince my self to stop asking why?
Stop complaining, start saying goodbye
For the love that will never be mine.

Tonight where no one else can see
A prayer of a dying soul will be free
A prayer of hope, love and eternity
For the girl I love and the man she belongs to be.

---JMS---

click the link below:
POETRY 1

POETRY 2

2004-12-11T13:06:00.000-08:00

This poem was dedicated to a girl who always care and understand me... you know who you are... and I'm thankful that you came into my life...

I fell in love and hurt before
When the love that I found walk out through the door
From that day, I felt that my heart is in misery
And day after day it's drivin' me crazy.

Then you entered to my life from out of nowhere
And touch my heart and soul all over
Suddenly my heart was beating fast
I knew it was love right from the start.

Every moment with you seems like eternity
You can take all away my sorrow easily
With you I felt that my heart is secure
Cause I know that your love for me is pure.

Then you and I take a vows together
That our love will last forever
To you I promise my life to surrender
And I hope that you will stay with me forever...

---JMS---

click the link below:
For My Baby